“I just want to tell you that you are a badass.”

It was a Sunday morning and I was tired. I felt heavy.

My body was feeling all the build up emotion, the slump. 
The same ones I I had squished down days prior as a way to refuse to acknowledge the burden.

That Sunday morning, I was in a shower.

And I received a text message notification from my older sister. She said, “I just want to tell you that you are a badass.”

My response to her, took me a while to send, not because I didn’t see her message, but because I didn’t know how to respond.

For so long, I have not felt like the badass  she was just highlighting.

Sometimes you receive reminder messages, just when you are supposed to receive them and need them the most.

This year in particular, the question has remained constant: Am I not enough? 


Why weren’t crucial things communicated to me? Have I not earned my place to be fully informed or taken into consideration? Life is crazy and throws bricks at you. 
You either go over them them or let them take you down.

Sometimes I feel I’m not enough. I may fall behind on tasks, doing things last minute.

At home, if the house isn’t clean, dinner made in it’s entirety, if the food got cold, if it’s not  what was of preference in the menu, it’s chaos. Am I or the children showered and picture perfect… one might think that I was sitting around all day but until you are in our shoes, they truly have no idea.

Am I not
enough as a sibling? Or as a child.  Often those that are so close, only come around when it’s convenient or as a time filler. Sometimes people only come to you when they need help from you. Though, I love being able to help others, I love being able to provide some sort of alivio. If I can, I will. But in being a giver, you loose sight of your own needs.

Are you doing enough for yourself? Are you filling your own cup? If we’re pouring or trying to pour from an empty cup.

Are you good enough? talented enough? dedicated enough? Am I attractive enough?

Or am I actually too much?  Am I too much that I don’t know how to handle or deal with myself? Are others not equipped for me? Am I too much for other people? Am I creative enough? or too emotionally attuned? Am I as present as I should be? What else can I do?

But it is a moment like these. 
That the universe knows you needed to be snapped out of it. In these moments, you receive those random messages, from people that love you so genuinely, those that pop into your day, one way or another to remind you of your worth, to be your cheerleaders. Whether it be in twerking class con with other mujeres in their own journeys or through a text message while you’re in the shower; reminding you of how badass you are, indirectly serving as reminders that you are enough. 

As I reflect, my shower turned into a bath with Epsom South, bubbles, hot water. I am going to start the following practice moving forward and I invite you to do the same:

Take off your jewelry and any rings you may have.

Take off the identities you hold, the roles, the hats you wear. Be connected to yourself, to your body.

Feel the water on your skin. 
Feel the water running down your face. Water connects us to nature. It is pure, sacred, it is an element we are able to rely on, one that provides us with cleansing, with the ability to be in connection with.

Look at your body. You have a body. You have a heart, a mind or soul.

You are here. You matter. You can tell yourself a thousand things but make sure to also remind yourself that

you are enough. Don’t let the little voice or voices inside get the best of you or get to you.

Listen to that singular voice saying: